Passing judgement

I’ve stopped judging moms. I’ve stopped judging anyone, really. You know why? Life is hard and we all struggle.

I know how it feels to be that lonely mom, aching for communication with someone before you forget how to speak. I also know how it feels when you get blamed for ignoring your kids when you were so hungry for adult conversation that you missed when a kid fell off the swing.

I know how it feels to dress your kids and get to store only to find they had a diaper blow out and you forgot a spare so you go in the store with a naked baby. I know how it feels when someone says in response that you shouldn’t even have kids if you can’t be bothered to dress them.

I know how it feels to be over prepared to the point you can’t find what you need because you brought so much, to be blamed you are materialistic because you overpack, to then bring less to compensate, and get blamed that you should know better if you were any good at mothering.

I know how it feels to be shamed for breastfeeding in public, because how dare you have a life when baby needs fed, and I also know how it feels to give a bottle and hear how you are giving poison and should have tried harder to breastfeed. I know the shame of having multiple children, of staying home because childcare is so much, of going out because I’m selfish for needing a break, or not going out because I must be crazy. I know all about the mommy wars, the car seat wars, the feeding wars, the dressing wars, the working wars…. we are all mothers, we all want the best for our kids.

So, just stop already. Stop shaming, stop judging. See a mom about to drop her baby because her hands are full? Go carry the extra stuff for her. See a mom doing anything? Give her a thumbs up, or a smile but don’t bother telling her she’s doing it wrong. There’s more than your way to do something.

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